alone in the dark album

© Copyright 2017 Jonathan Bulmer - All Rights Reserved

Mild Mannered Maniac

He boards the morning train, with a look of disdain
As he passes by where you’re seated
A face of demonic possession, eyes of aggression
An air of one conceited
He stops across from you, in full view
Gaze fixed in your direction
Your pulse quickens
You sicken
Panic stricken you need to fly

He’s painted like all the others
Crucified by your fear
It’s the same brush you use to colour
The xenophobic canvass that you bear
It comforts you like a lover
Wipes away all your tears
But the screams are yours alone to hear

Sitting at your desk, clearing up the mess
Someone walks into your Ivory Tower
The interruption shortens your fuse, as they start to accuse
You lose all willpower
Then something just snaps inside and you try to hide
The venom coursing through
Cold as ice
You draw out the knife
Snuffing out a life inside your mind

You feel you want to start rampaging
The head is starting to pound
If they come out with guns blazing
Somebody will get shot down
It’s hard to get through the day
When you’re surrounded by clowns
How much more before you break down?

Surviving the train wreck, you take a deep breath
Dispersing the violence
Away from alien brogue and sound overload
You start to drown in comforting silence
Procrastinating. deliberating
You know that you just can’t let go
Don’t wallow
The truth is hard to swallow
But tomorrow it starts again

No matter how hard you beat yourself up
That monkey just won’t climb down
You’re still stuck in that same old rut
Just a freak in a social fairground
Does it matter what they think of you?
As long as they leave you be
Then your mind can truly be free

Life Testimony

We got together in the usual way
I used the cheesy lines that all men say
But it seemed to work, you laughed a lot
I was amazed by the luck I got
I knew from the start that you were class
As we tiptoed around each other’s past
But you didn’t run, showed no surprise
Just a sparkle in your eyes
Your essence soaked into my bones
One sweet caress takes me home

Years later I know we’ll both be
Sitting by the fire keeping toasty
Watching TV, reading papers
Never being lonely
But for now we’ll keep on down the road
Writing our story as we go
We’re gonna let the whole world know
Our life testimony

Before too long, we were married
Settling down, starting a family
Through thick and thin, rags and style
You made me happy all the while
Taking trips to who knows where
Or curling up in our favourite chair
Doesn’t matter where we’ll be
Just as long as you’re near to me
Baby. baby don’t leave me alone
Cos without you, I just can’t go on

Looking back on all that you’ve done for me
All that you’ve given, all of the memories
Sometimes it don’t seem like a crime
That I got away, got away with those cheesy lines

I knew that years later we’d both be
Sitting by the fire keeping toasty
Watching TV, reading papers
Never being lonely
We’re still walking on down the road
Writing our story as we go
Letting the whole world know
Our life testimony

A Grump at Christmas

Oh great!  I’m wide awake and it’s Christmas day
I’d rather stay in bed and miss the day
But I’ve got to get up, get dressed and join the family
Because it’s the time of year that’s full of cheer
But not for me

Well the day starts out quite pleasant
A nice breakfast, then open the presents
But after all that’s done What else do we do?
The wife is in the kitchen, starting the dinner
Kids are playing games arguing over the winner
So to cheer myself up I’ll have a beer or two

Oh boy! The family joy of Christmas day
Wish I could stay in bed and miss the day
But fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers love this time of year
So this frown I’ll replace with a smile on my face And have another beer

Now I really start to hit the bottle
For the kids I’m ready to throttle
Because they can’t decide what to watch on TV
My wife says I’m being a jerk she
Wants me to carve up the turkey
But I’m seeing double and can’t even speak properly

I need a break!!

Now I don’t hate Christmas really
And I love my family dearly
But they plan for the big day too far ahead
And now it’s almost over
And I’m not even that sober
But I’ll have another beer before going to bed

What did I do, I haven’t a clue on Christmas day
I think I drank too much and missed the day
In the morning I will have an aching head
I Knew I should have stayed in bed instead

Kickin Back

The sun sets on the horizon
Over the beach on which I’m standing, thinking a while
The reflections I set my eyes on dance with images
That take me back and make me smile
Got nothing to do and nowhere to go
Don’t want to hear things I don’t want to know

I’m letting time wash over me
Like sand embracing the sea
I’ve found a place to be by myself, to relax
The world sure can pass me by
I’ve got no care and that is why
I’m just chilling
And kickin back

No heavy loads or guilty chains
Can drag me down and hold me. I’m free
Just memories which entertain and daydreams about a future
That I see
Making the most of all I can take
Because it won’t be long before the world awakes

I’m letting time wash over me
Like sand embracing the sea
I’ve found a place to be by myself, to relax
The world sure can pass me by
I’ve got no care and that is why
I’m just chilling
And kickin back

Got nothing to do and no place to go
Don’t want to hear things I don’t want to know

I’m letting time wash over me
Like sand embracing the sea
I’ve found a place to be by myself, to relax
The world sure can pass me by
I’ve got no care and that is why
I’m just chilling
And kickin back

alone in the dark

No emotion, though my mind is an ocean in a storm
And I cannot understand
Why my world is so exclusive, to me so reclusive
Untouched by another’s hand
Finding solace in the shadows, reaching out in despair
But I hold on I’m not really there

There’s no room upon this stage for my social regret
I’m a silhouette
And I play the part
I try to be somebody else but I run out of time
To remember the lines
I’m alone in the dark

Surrounded by sound and motion
Condemned by the path I’ve chosen
Trapped within my solitude
Don’t go out, I wouldn’t dare
For fear of what’s out there
But the curtain call intrudes
Thoughts cycle around my head like a constant addiction
I’m just a one man show with no intermission

There’s no room upon this stage for my social regret
I’m a silhouette
And I play the part
I try to be somebody else but I run out of time
To remember the lines
I’m alone in the dark

hit the wall

A long and lonely night
And he now knows what it feels like
To say the words, that she has heard
As he lays down on the sofa
She cries alone in bed
And thinks about what he has said
She’s angry and doesn’t understand
Why he’s told her it’s all over
To both it seems their hopes and dreams are shattered
For different reasons but it doesn’t matter
For this night their lives are crumpled, torn and tattered
So to give and take, feels just the same

There’s nothing left
An empty room
It’s all locked up In a frozen tomb
She gave him her soul, he gave her his all
It wasn’t enough
They’ve hit the wall

In the morning light
They work hard to make it right
But even though they are near, it’s very clear
That they can’t, they can’t get through it
Trying as they might
It’s hard to avoid the fight
They’re dragging along all the many wrongs
They remember
They just can’t help it
She wants to realise what caused their lives to fray
Could he not see it never used to be this way?
He says nothing, as there’s nothing left to say
And in the silence the pain remains

There’s nothing left
An empty room
It’s all locked up In a frozen tomb
She gave him her soul, he gave her his all
It wasn’t enough
They’ve hit the wall

Hey

Hey!
Please don’t hang up the phone
I could really use a friend
The road is dark and oh, so long
I can barely see the end

In my life
I’ve been so many things, not all of them good
But I’m trying, yes I’m trying to make everything right
If you show me, show me how I could

The day that we met you brightened up my soul
You kept the darkness at bay
Picked up the broken pieces and you made me whole
So why did I push you away

I never really know what I want
Until I’ve cast it aside
This bottle of wine doesn’t hide the taste
Of self-loathing, self-loathing inside
But I’m sorry, so sorry for what I’ve done
Please, can we work these things through
Cos I was wrong, so wrong to let you run
Because I’m nothing, nothing without you

I never really meant to hurt you, or make you feel bad
But I’m glad that we talked
Because I miss you and the good times we had
So baby, please don’t walk

I understand why you felt
Felt you had to leave You have your dreams too
I live in hope but I’ve got to, got to believe
That I can make them come true

echoes of you

I remember how we met all those yesteryears ago
Times when we held each other and wouldn’t let go
Summer days of laughter
Happy ever after
We knew

But everything must end, even seasons die
Nothing ever lasts, no matter how we try
But we showed the world how our
Love like a flower
It grew
It grew

If I open my eyes and see you by my side
I know that my dreams have come true
In my head are the bitter-sweet memories
And I spend my time thinking them through
But all I can hear are
Echoes of you

Making plans together, we treasured every day
It was all so perfect, until life took you away
Now everything that I see Is cold and empty
Without you

Through the years I just can’t bring myself to say goodbye
Those summer days are all I have to keep the dream alive
There’s not a day that goes by
Without knowing that I
Miss you

If I open my eyes and see you by my side
I know that my dreams have come true
In my head are the bitter-sweet memories
And I spend my time thinking them through
I want to open my eyes and see you by my side
To know that my dreams have come true

In my head are the ever sweet memories
And I really want to thank you
But all I have left are
Echoes of you

Coming Home

When I was young I used to play games in the park
Skip stones across the river and just lark about
In naïve innocence
Now I’m older my life is more intense
I’ve lost that carefree indifference
That gave me freedom without sense

Now it’s time to get back to where I once belonged
My bags are packed
I’m coming home

I travel with ever growing trepidation
Undisguised anticipation
For the long road ahead
I haven’t seen my family in a long, long time
I committed a hurtful crime
I was disowned, left for dead

But I need to get back, back to where I once belonged
I’m on my way
I’m coming home
It’s time for me to stand up and be strong
I’m ready now
I’m coming home

Outside the house, I sit in the car
Wondering if I could have travelled this far
Just to turn away
In the window I see a figure
A face I can’t quite remember
But their eyes ask me to stay

Now I need to get back to where I once belonged
I’m on my way
I’m coming home
Here I stand in spite of what I’ve done
I’ve found my peace
I’ve come home

All your dreams but one

It’s a hard world
But you’re wanting so much more now you’re a grown girl
You say there’s nothing that you can’t handle
So you reach for the stars by learning how to climb
To find the one that shines
Like a moth in a field of candles
But don’t reach too far, too fast, too high or
You’ll never touch the skies you’ve been searching for

Take my advice and think things through
Before biting off more than you can chew
To have everything means that there’s nothing left that is new
May all your dreams but one come true

You can’t do it all alone
You need the help of those around you to keep you strong
To reach your full potential
You have to find a place where you feel accepted
Protected
From a life that is detrimental
There comes a time when you must move on
But don’t forget where you came from

Walk through life, don’t run
Seize the moment before it’s gone
Make the most of the chances which may come along
Find all your dreams but one

Some days will come easy
Some not at all
Some friends will be there for you and
Some will laugh when you fall
But when the world crumbles around you and you feel that you’re alone
This is the place that you can call home

Take my advice and think things through
Before biting off more than you can chew
To have everything means that there’s nothing left that is new
Find all your dreams but one
If there’s one little thing that I could wish for you
May all your dreams but one come true

stop the killing

We can’t go on like this
How could we be so wrong?
Trying to find a peace of mind, from mistakes we never learn
We light the fire and watch the world burn

How can we live like this doing what we do?
Life is for everyone and not just about you
How can we change our ways knowing what we know?
Open our eyes to the signs and don’t let hatred grow

We should be stopping this
Why can’t we live in peace?
Going to war but what the hell for 
Does anyone know why?
Let’s stop the fighting and give love a try

Why is hating easier than healing?
Do we even care what the world is feeling?
Stay as we are and it won’t be too long
Before life on this planet, as we know it, will be gone

Going to war but what the hell for
Does anyone know why?
Let’s stop the fighting and give love a try

How can we live like this doing what we do?
Life is for everyone and not just about you
How can we change our ways knowing what we know?
Open our eyes to the signs and don’t let hatred grow
Why is hating easier than healing?
Do we even care what the world is feeling?
Stay as we are and it won’t be too long
Before life on this planet, as we know it, will be gone